From the moment new parents announce they are
expecting, other moms telling them ‘breast is best’ bombard them. The American
Academy of Pediatrics says "babies should be breastfed exclusively for the
first 6 months".
There is no denying the benefits of breast-feeding your little one, but what if
you can't? I am not talking about parents who have adopted and have no interest
in getting breast milk from a milk bank.
As a mother of two beautiful girls (my oldest 13
and little one just turned 2) my experience was a little different then I
thought it would be. With my oldest Kiana, I was completely uncomfortable with
the whole idea of breastfeeding to be honest. Being a bit younger, and knowing
I would have to go back to work immediately, I just felt it best to start her
on formula from the beginning. I remember in the hospital after she was born,
the nurses kept asking me over and over if I was absolutely sure if I wanted to
give her formula. At times they made me feel ashamed of my decision, however in
the end I felt formula was the best option. Kiana never got sick until, once
when she was 4 with a mild fever, and then when she was 8 with a double ear
infection.
With my second, I had a completely different
outlook on breastfeeding. I read every book, article and blog I could get my
hands on about the benefits and best ways to breastfeed. Everything I read made
it seem like it would all come naturally, that my body would know what to do
when the time came. I spoke with friends and family who had breastfed, a few
said it may be slightly uncomfortable at first but assured me a woman's body
was made for this! I did have some fears about the pain, and what if my milk
supply wasn't strong, nontheless in the end I felt prepared! I had my doula
there with me, and a hospital full of nurses and lactation consultants. Then
the day came, Ella was born and immediately I asked if I could feed her! My
doula and one of the nurses helped me get Ella in position, with a pinch to the
nipple her little mouth was on (so I thought). For the next 24 hours in the
hospital I had nurses shifting Ella and myself into various holds, the football
hold seemed to work best. I am a larger breasted woman, they were far larger
then her tiny little head to be exact! Ella did manage to get milk here and
there, but was waking often to get more... my milk was still coming in.
By the time I was ready to take Ella home my nipple
area already was badly bruised, 'no worries' they told me “it gets easier.” It
was finally time to go home and the fear was settling in, how would I ever
figure out how to feed her on my own if I hadn't been able to manage it in the
hospital with help?!? The day after I got home my situation was getting worse.
Ella was clearly not getting enough to eat and by now my nipples were bleeding!
So I called my doula, she came out again... showed me some more latch holds and
I continued on. Ella was waking every hour to hour and a half to feed, I would
cringe to the bone every time she 'chomped' on. I did everything I was told by
taking her off gently with my fingers and re-latching her until it felt better.
Feeding time became the worst parts of the day,
which is pretty rough considering how many times you have to feed a newborn.
Against all advice, I would slip a bottle in every now and then so I could rest
my nipples. I hate to sound so graphic but it was literally a bloody mess for
both of us during feeding times. What I have described so far is mostly the
physical pain I felt, emotionally I was not much better! I felt like a complete
failure... how could every mother since the beginning of time manage to
breastfeed, but not me? By day 5 I started to feel sick, I thought I was coming
down with the flu, fever, chills, aches, etc... So I packed my sweet baby up
and headed to my doctor. We sat in the waiting room for nearly two hours (thank
goodness I packed a bottle since I wouldn't dare a feeding in public) and
finally we made our way back to the exam room.
I explained my symptoms of a fever, breast pain and
redness on my chest, chills, aches and so forth. After a few "hmmm's"
and "well I am not totally sure" he tells me I have a virus. I get a
script for an antibiotic and head home. As the night went on my fever went from
102, to 103 to 105+, streaks of red were coming down my chest and I thought I
was burning from the inside out. My husband had had enough, so he packed up the
girls and we made the 30 minute drive to the nearest ER at midnight! The
diagnosis.... Mastitis. I still
continued to breast feed (per the doctors instructions) as much as I could but
at day 7 I was physically and mentally beat. I was dreading the most precious time
to connect with my newborn, feeding time. Ella was hungry, I was in pain and
feeling like the worst mother on the planet... and none of this was natural to
me. So I bought a pump, and not just any old pump, one of the best I could
find, the Madela Pump in Style Advanced:
Relief at last!!! I still was not getting
enough milk in, even after following the diet recco's and taking
Fenugreek. so
I would still supplement with formula every now and then.
So what am I saying here?! I am by no means
discouraging you from breastfeeding; I know that breast milk has wonderful
benefits that a lot of formulas cannot offer. I am simply telling the other
side of the story, the side I never heard or read! No matter what your feeding
decision is, you should not be made to feel ashamed or guilty about it. The formulas
on the market today are incredible and bottle-feeding can be a great option for
both mom and dad. If
you are suffering as much as I did, my advice would be to get yourself a
good pump! Now, pumping every 3-4 hours on top of feeding can be pretty
tricky, (especially if you are working like me) but if it is important to you,
you will make it work!
After all I went through, I still plan on
attempting to breastfeed again with our next baby. Every baby latches
differently, and for whatever reason Ella and I just couldn't make it work. The
times I did get her on a good latch felt incredible... I felt AWESOME to have
that connection with her. However feeling so awful when it wasn't working was
no benefit to her or myself. Breastfeeding is not easy for everyone, and it may
not even be an option for some. At the end of the day, being happy, healthy and
giving your child the nutrients he/she needs is really all that matters!
For more information or questions please contact me
directly at ByVictoriaAntoinette@gmail.com or call me at 480-717-2795.
Stephanie Antoinette~
