Be a true friend!

Having two children, 10 nieces and nephews and a surplus of friends with babies I have come to know a few things. One of the most important is to know how to really help out a new mother. Believe it or not, but a lot of friends and family think helping means "take care of the baby"... this is NOT HELPING A NEW MOTHER!! Mothers and fathers want this time to bond with their baby, what they need help is the other stuff. So if you are going to lend a hand, here are some basics to follow.

1. Bring food, preferably something that doesn't require much but opening and heating.

2. Wash your hands upon arrival, and only hold the baby when you are given permission.

3. Do not bring pets or sick children along with you.

4. Offer to help with laundry, cleaning, cooking... or just do it without asking.

5. Call before you come, sleep schedules are not consistent the first few months, so make sure you come during a time when baby and mom will be awake.

6. Do not stay long, typically when the mom says she going to put baby down that is your cue to leave. She is tired and needs to rest when the baby does.

7. This is not the time for you to tell mom that she is doing things incorrectly. If she chooses to bottle-feed then let her. Mothers have enough guilt to deal with on a daily basis, this is not the time to put your two cents in... unless asked!

8. If asked, be honest! Do not sugar coat things for her but let her know it gets easiest and every mom will find a system that works.

8. Make her a play list of good music to listen to while nursing!

9. Let her know that one day she will sleep again!

10. Tell she looks beautiful and that she is doing an awesome job!

11. Make sure to take a photo with her actually in it, candid moments are the best!! So many end up being of just the baby.

12. Offer to keep an eye on the baby if she would like to take a shower, be careful here and do not suggest she NEEDS a shower!

13. If you do bring a meal, make sure you serve it and clean it up. 

14. Offer to walk and feed pets, and if you are really nice clean a litter box!

15. If she is nursing, her eating habits are almost more important now then when she was pregnant. Offer to stop at the store and pick things up. Nutrition bars, water, fresh fruit, yogurt and nuts are all good things to have on hand for her.

If you really want to show how much you care, purchase one of my services! Working moms especially, really want to focus their leave on baby. Not cleaning, cooking, shopping, party planning, childcare placement, nanny interviews, and who to use for a newborn shoot! I have done all the work and research; my packages offer vendor discounts that you will not see elsewhere. I can accommodate any mother’s unique needs so that she can enjoy this time with her baby. So if your best friend from college is having a baby and you cannot drop everything to help her- hiring me will be a godsend! Or if you daughter or daughter-in-law is in need of help... she will love you for this!

Stephanie Antoinette 

480-717-2795

byVictoriaAntoinette@gmail.com 

Registry Assistance

One of the services I offer is a "Customized Baby Registry"... trust me, you do not want to waste your money on things you really don't need or won't use!

Here are a few of my favorites~

The Breast Friend nursing pillow as seen below. If you plan on nursing I highly suggest registering for this pillow vs. The Boppy (also seen below).  The Breast Friend gives you and baby a proper angle for breast feeding! The Boppy, or ones like it, are more of a multipurpose pillow. I had registered for The Boppy and the day Ella was born the nurse told my husband to go get the The Breast Friend immediately! It has a flatter surface so that the babies head is elevated to the breast better for feeding. It also claps aroung your waste for a nice snug fit, and if you have to get up and move, you can without unlatching your baby from feeding. Now since I ended up with both anyway, I found uses for the The Boppy. It was good for when Kiana would hold Ella, or to prop Ella up before she knew how to roll over. Get both if you would like, but if you are breast feeding make sure you get The Breast Friend! 

My Brest Friend Pillow

The Boppy Pillow

Blankets... OH MY- the endless selection of receiving blankets & swaddlers! They come in all shapes; sizes, materials and prints which make it a bit overwhelming to know which one is best (and at which age). As Ella got bigger other blankets worked better, but for this blog we are talking about 0-3 month stage. I ended up with an entire drawer full of blankets, and in the end these were the only ones I used for the first 4 months. 

The Miracle Blanket® 

This blanket was fantastic for swaddling!! It takes a little getting used to it since it has the pre-made flaps, but it tucks nicely and gives baby a secure feeling. I would suggest registering for two so you can keep one in the wash! This blanket is really only good for the swaddle, so after the first four months you will not need to use it as much. However, it keeps baby's hands and feet tucked in perfectly!

aden™ by aden + anais® 

I really like this blanket, like the one above, this blanket give baby a great swaddle! It comes in several different prints, and is a little more versatile then the Miracle Blanket. You can use this to cover car seats while out and about, and since it is so big, babies can lay on the floor with it for tummy time! It is very breathable, so if your baby is born during the hotter seasons this is a great options for outside. Again, register for a couple of these!

Both are a bit more spendy then your typical receiving blanket, but it is much better to have 4 blankets that you use, then a drawer full of ones you don't! 

A couple other tips as you register, or for friends and family who want to buy gifts! 

Your baby will not necessarily be in a 0-3 month size for the first 0-3 months! So make sure you don't buy a boatload of clothes your baby could end up growing out of faster then you think. During these first few months your baby really only needs onesies, cotton pants & jackets, and some socks. You end up swaddling them a lot so all those expensive cute clothes I would wait on! Tell grandma to start buying 3-6 months sizes or even 6 months up! 

Burp clothes, I had a stack of the cloth diapers on hand for spit ups, messes etc... But the one I used most was the aden burpy bib.  

A white noise machine!!!!! I cannot stress this enough and I didn't even break down and get one till Ella was one. It is a lifesaver; forget the CD's, the app's on your phone, and the light up musical mobiles! A simple noise machine that can stay where baby sleeps, and you can take it with you when you travel, is all you need!  I got mine at Bed Bath & Beyond as seen here.

Marpac The Original Sound Conditioner™

Registering for baby can be a daunting task for new moms. You get caught up in all the cute stuff, and you get tons of advice (wanted or not) from everyone who knows you are expecting! The thing is, registry does have some basic guidelines, but needs & wants are different for every mom. All of my packages include this service, I also offer this as an A la carté option.

For more information, or to purchase a service please email me at-

ByVictoriaAntoinette@gmail.com or call me at 480-717-2795

www.JLVbebeconcierge.com

Stephanie Antoinette 

What is with the name?

I just wanted to write a quick note about how I came up with the name,  "J'aime la vie by Victoria Antoinette"~


For some, this name was a bit confusing, and then others think I am Victoria. A lot of thought went into this name; so let me share with you how it all came about.

In Jan 2009 I took a position as a corporate event planner. Prior to this I have worked in advertising and the mortgage industries. However, with this last position I wore many hats.  On top of handling every single aspect of the event planning, I headed the marketing, scheduling, and compliance needs for the company as well. Needless to say I worked hard, often, and in the end the job was not personally rewarding.

For some time I had wanted to start my own venture, but what that venture was going to be was something I struggled with. There are so many challenges when starting a business, a lot of it boils down to plain old fear. Nonetheless, it literally hit me this past summer when I was getting scolded for the millionth time from my boss, because I had to take a morning off to take my little one to the doctor I needed a career where not only did I set the pace, but that I could do with my physical ailments and with my two kids. I also needed to start a company that would help other moms like me that are busy with work, family, and life in general! A mommy and baby concierge that not only would help new mothers, but us veteran moms as well.

I have already gone in detail about what my business is in other blogs (read them if you haven't) but this is about the name.

My mother was "Victoria" and is my daughter Ella's middle name. She passed away from cancer in November 2007. Not only was she my mother, but a best friend and my biggest fan. My mother was supportive with any crazy idea or venture I wanted to tackle (even when she knew they wouldn't work). My mother used to say that she raised all of her kids to be someone she would adore as a friend, not just her child and I loved her dearly for that.

"Antoinette" was my maternal grandmother, and Antoinette is my middle name. My grandmother was a tiny little thing and so strikingly beautiful all the way into her 80's! Maybe it was the era she grew up in, or the Estee Lauder creams she swore by (that I use), but I swear she barely had a wrinkle or blemish on her face EVER! Antoinette spoke with eloquence, and walked with grace- however like me, she spoke her mind when she saw fit. My grandmother passed away in Jan 1997 after living with us for 3 years. She had breast cancer and a full mastectomy in her 50's (if I remember correctly), she suffered heart issues and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in her 70's. This woman raised my mother on her own with the help of family after my grandfather left her during World War II, she was 8 months pregnant with my mom at the time.

I could not think of a better way to pay tribute to these two powerful mothers, then to name my mommy & baby concierge after them. Since their names are French I decided to continue on with the French theme... "J'aime la vie" means I love life, and what could be more true when it comes to children!

So alas!!! The name was born, "Jaime la vie by Victoria Antoinette"- a mommy & bébé concierge

Stephanie Antoinette~

More 'Must-Haves' for the pregnant mama!!

So I touched on a few of my favorite 'Must-Haves', but here are just a few more.

A good pair of leggings can go a long way, you can pair this with a nice blouse to dress it up- or a comfy knit top for a more casual look. I had the same kind in a few different colors and wore them all the time!!

Here is what I had, I went with the crop leggings but you can go for full length as well!

Secret Fit Belly® Jersey Knit Maternity Crop Leggings

Pregnancy body pillow, if you are pregnant and do not have one of these you are missing out! During the last trimester it becomes incredibly difficult to get comfortable. It is recommended that you sleep on your left side, and having a body pillow can really help with getting a good night sleep (again if only you didn't have to get up to use the bathroom 20 times). When I was pregnant with Ella, I had extreme back pain. I am not referring to the normal pregnancy back pain due to weight gain, I actually had a bulging disc that herniated and was pushing against nerves. It wasn't until after I had her that I realized how bad my situation was and when she was 9 months old I had to have surgery. So for me, if I could sleep for 30- 45 minutes at a time without having to shift, it was a miracle! This pillow was my saving grace and worth every penny!!

The Snoozer Full Body Pillow- $60 at Motherhood Maternity 

Since it is not recommended you take any sort aspirin or pain relievers during pregnancy, I sought out some other products to help with the immense back and leg pain I had. I tried several different kinds, some that really smelled, others that left my skin burning. In the end I did find one that worked really well, I highly recommend it. Biofreeze- Get a tube, it is inexpensive and sold at most all pharmacies, Target and Wal-Mart if you are feeling brave! 

I had talked about "Belly Bars" in my last blog, but I wanted to go into a bit more detail on that. This all-natural bar is full of folic acid, omega 3's and iron. It is sold at Whole Foods and I have seen them at Motherhood Maternity (boy do I plug them a lot ha). Anyhow, the nausea in the first trimester really does a number on me! I can barely keep the prenatal vitamins down, so I would take them at night. With Ella, the only thing I could stomach was fresh fruit, nuts and bread... until the end when I had an obsession with chilidogs and guacamole. The Belly Bars were a great way to get some goodness in me, and they tasted really good! 

I encourage any feedback, and let me know what some of your favorites are!!

Stephanie Antoinette 

Pregnancy Must-Haves!

For some, being pregnant doesn't always mean you get that 'glow' everyone talks about. Unfortunately not all of us are blessed with just a cute round belly! Some of us (me included) have unsightly skin changes and we gain weight EVERYWHERE! We surely do not look, or feel like the goddess everyone talks about.

Here are some of my personal tips on how to keep yourself looking, and feeling your best during these long 9 months!

Water: I cannot emphasize enough the importance of consuming enough water when pregnant. You should be drinking plenty before and after, especially if you are breastfeeding, but while pregnant it is crucial! Besides the obvious of keeping you and baby hydrated, it also helps with the dry & itchy skin. Drinking plenty of water can also prevent water retention, sounds odd right?! It's true, drinking the recommended 8, 8 ounce glasses a day can prevent the puffiness! Water also naturally detoxes your body, toss in a lemon or fresh fruit to spruce up the taste!!

Moisturize: If you live in Arizona then moisturizing and drinking water should already be part of your routine, but during these 9 months pump it up. Make sure you are applying lotion to your whole body after each shower; maybe even have hubby rub some on your tired & swollen feet! Some of my favorites were:

Eucerin Calming Itch-relief- I would be extremely itchy all the time! In order to prevent myself from tearing my skin apart with scratching I would apply this... in ample amounts!

Bio Oil- I still use this! Nothing can prevent stretch marks entirely since that has to do with the elasticity of your skin from the inside, but this can help them from getting out of control.

Then any yummy smelling peppermint foot cream for my feet!


Humidifier: I would get so stuffed up do the build up of hormones that I could barely breathe. It is called Rhinitis of Pregnancy.  It didn't help in the last trimester when I had a baby pushing on my lungs and diaphragm either. So at night I would prop myself in almost a seated position and turn on the humidifier. This made it slightly easier to breathe... now if only I didn't have to get up 20 times a night to go to the bathroom.

Make sure you have a least a couple pairs of cute and tailored maternity pants & tops. Make sure the tops are long and go below the belly... PLEASE! A thin cardigan is always nice to have to cover your arms and sides if you are not happy with how they are growing ha! Get yourself a good bra to 'grow' with- your belly isn't the only thing that will be getting bigger! You do not need to go out and drop hundreds of dollars to achieve this- unless you can afford to... then have at it! Maternity clothes are sold in way more stores then when I was first pregnant with my oldest! Old Navy, Target, Motherhood Maternity all has great options! Dress up your outfit with cute ballet flats, a scarf and bag.

Check out these cute options for under $50-

Indigo Blue Secret Fit Belly® Skinny Leg Maternity Jeans (Lose the heels)

3/4 Sleeve Empire Seam Maternity Tunic 

Make sure you pack your bag with mints or hard candies to fight of nausea. Snacks like nuts, belly bars or trail mix to keep yourself from starving if you are on the go. A bottle of water, and lip-gloss to take full advantage of those full lips you have! 

I will continue on this subject, but this will get you started! 

What is a baby concierge?

By now you have seen my posts, pictures and blogs about my new business... I am still getting the question of, "What is it that you do exactly?"

The catch phrase to describe this service is that I am like a wedding coordinator, but for all things baby! Of course, that is the simplest way of putting it because there is SO SO much more that this concierge will offer.  From the moment you decide to have a baby (and after the excitement wears off) there often is a feeling of being overwhelmed! This is not just for first time parents either-- products, procedures and births are different with each child. Not to mention that after you have one child your time becomes more and more limited, and your needs increase as well. Unlike a wedding, where once the wedding is complete a coordinator's job is done, having a baby is an ongoing event for the rest of your life!

J'aime la vie assists right from the beginnning with pediatrician, OB and/or Doula placement, childcare/nanny placement, and nutrition/ fitness consults.  We also will design a customized birth plan & baby registry with products that work for you! Researching strollers, car seats, high chairs and what toys are best can be enough to drive a person mad! I have done it all, and I continue to keep up with all the consumer reports and actual 'parent tried and true' testimonies to make sure you do not waste your money or time.

J'aime la vie can organize and decorate your nursery, baby proof your house, get training for your pets if you are worried about how they may feel with a crying child in the home! I can set up house cleaning services, grocery store runs before birth, after and beyond.  I have access to the valley's top photographers, bakeries, florists, and more to help you create the baby shower of your dreams!! I don't stop there... I plan religious ceremonies, 'baby-moons', birthday parties, gender reveal parties, and new parent showers!! I will design invitations; baby announcements and can even create a photo baby book for you or for you to give as a gift.  I also offer an adoption transition service for those parents who may be taking in a child from any age! One of my favorite services I will be offering is a bed-rest concierge... for those moms who are not allowed to get up and do the things they need to, I will!

Every family's needs and situation is different, so I offer A la Carte options as well as customized packages! These services are great to give as a gift to a friend or daughter!

I planned my baby shower on my own; I was new here to Arizona from Minnesota. My friends felt helpless in not being able to help me put this together... so what a great gift to give a friend! You can have as little or as much control in the process as you would like. I am not here to take away this special time for you, I am here to take away the stress and give you an incredible event on your budget. I will always be available by phone or email to all my clients at any time.

Stephanie Anotinette
480-717-2795
ByVictoriaAntoinette@gmail.com

Do I really need a birth plan?

What is a birth plan? 

"The birth plan is a written list of your preferences to be used as a guide for how you would like your labor and delivery to go. As labor can be unpredictable, you may need to deviate from this plan at times during labor." This is according to the Health Library.

One of the most important things to remember about a birth plan is, it is just that... a plan. No one, no matter what background you have or how many children you have given birth to, can determine how your birth will go. However, it is important to have a plan! A guide, if you will, of what your wishes are in best & worst case scenarios. This doesn't have to be a typed out and laminated report (unless you are a bit OCD like me), but a clear, concise one-page document will do. Sharing this with your spouse, doctor, doula or midwife will ensure everyone is on the same page and help to create a positive experience for you & baby! 

That is the easy part; the more challenging part is determining which plan works best for you. Mothers today are far more educated on the various ways to deliver. There are c-sections, vaginal births, water births, home births, midwives, doulas, doctors, drugs, no drugs, and so forth. It can be incredibly overwhelming for any mother, no matter how many children they may have had already. Our bodies, and outlook on these matters change as we learn more, age, and have more children. 

The births of my two daughters were vastly different, which goes to show your plans can change with each birth! With my first daughter, I was 2 weeks late and in labor for over 30 hours... 18 of which was considered hard labor. I wanted to give birth in a hospital, to me it was just more comforting to have medical support nearby if needed. My plan consisted of only two things; I wanted an epidural, and wanted to avoid a c-section. I was terrified, young and in an incredible amount of pain.  The doctors were swarming me like vultures towards the end of my labor; they wanted me to get the c-section. Had my labor gone on much longer I would have had to, but in the end I was able to push her out.

With my second birth, I wanted a more natural approach. I still wanted to give birth in a hospital, but I did not want any drugs. Since I had such a traumatic experience the first time around, my husband and I decided to bring in a doula to assist. I think one of the most common misconceptions about a doula is that she is doing what the husband should. That couldn't be further from the truth! I don't care if you are super dad, or if you faint at the sight of a drop of blood... a doula makes the birthing experience a more calming one. Greta, my doula, has 30 years experience in assisting births. She worked along side my OB, and was an advocate for my husband and I during the labor!  With my back issues (later blog) I opted for an elective induction at 39 weeks. In hindsight I would have tried harder to wait because I believe that this prolonged my labor. I was on a petocin drip all night and my body was not dialating. 

By the next morning I had not progressed much so they wanted to break my water to get me to dilate. The nurses were strongly encouraging me to get an epidural since breaking your water will cause your contractions to intensify. At first I declined this so my doula could continue to assist me in different positions that would help me naturally dilate. After a few more hours I had only opened another 3cm (which left me at 6cm). For birth to occur they need you at 10cm and to be fully effaced. 

The nurses could not give me anymore petocin, and physically my body could not handle labor much longer. In the end I agreed to the epidural, which sped things along within a matter of an hour. I was very frustrated that I was unable to fulfill my plan of "no-drugs", however in the end all that was important was that we were healthy and safe! 

So as I said, it is good to have a plan... but you need to be flexible with that plan. Sometimes you will need a c-section, or maybe the home birth you dreamed of is just not going to work. The good news is with each birth you typically get a new plan. If you had a c-section the first time, you can try for a v-back the next time. Birth is a beautiful experience no matter what way your baby comes into the world! No matter which plan you choose or end up with for that matter... it is the gift you get in the end! 

As always, consulting your OB/GYN to make sure you know all the health risks is most important!

At J'aime la vie we offer a consultation that will take you through all the different options you have and match that with your wants & needs! 

Stephanie Antoinette

480-717-2795

LoveByVictoriaAntoinette.com